Before Brett Young and his wife Taylor got married, they had been in a cycle of on again, off again dating for ten years. Brett says the relationship ultimately worked out because he and Taylor both grew up and had a very adult conversation. “A lot of it was that we needed to grow up. But, the other part of it was when we got back together, we were both able to say, this is what I did wrong. And,” he says, “we were able to have the conversation that went, ‘I don’t wanna do that anymore. I wanna be with you. I need you to tell me if I’m doing that sometimes, cause I’m telling you right now I don’t want to. If you point it out, I’ll stop.’”

Brett says they also gave themselves a bit of an ultimatum when they got back together for the last time. Brett says they both agreed, “This isn’t gonna be another attempt at this relationship. If we’re getting back together, I’m marrying you and we’re starting a family. It was this whole like, very honest, adult conversation.”

Interestingly that conversation not only got them back together, but it’s a huge part of what makes their marriage work today, because Brett says, “We had that conversation, and we had it so early on when we started talking again, that we’ve only maybe twice ever, in the last four years, had to go, ‘Ehh! That kind of feels like old us.’ And the second we say that, it’s like, ‘Awww, we hated old us!’ And it’s gone. And the teamwork of that whole thing I think was what worked.”

Fortunately, Brett and Taylor stayed in each other’s lives long enough to get to the point where they could have that critical conversation, because he says, “I was not capable of doing that in the past. So, a lot of it was timing, and that’s why I think you have to grow up to be able to do that.”